"Is Valentine's Day a big deal?" Young people today prioritize being well-liked over being popular.

You've likely heard the term "herbivore men," now firmly established.
Lately, even terms like "sofre" (short for "sleepover friend," meaning... a relationship where a man and woman sleep together without being lovers) and "kissfre" (a relationship where a man and woman kiss without being lovers) have emerged.

You might often think, "I don't get it!" or "There's no passion!" about the dating lives of young people these days. That said, romance has always been a theme for youth and symbolized their values! So, this time, we'll delve into the dating perspectives of today's youth and consider what they truly value.

 

Is falling in love just too much trouble?

At Dentsu Inc. Wakamon, we regularly hold work sessions in Tokyo, Osaka, and Nagoya, primarily with university groups, to grasp the real feelings of young people.

With Valentine's Day approaching, we asked them about "modern views on romance."
The response we got was:

・I want to be popular. But if it means losing friends over "friends" vs. "lovers," I'd rather not lose my friends.
(Male university student, 20)

・Since friendships often turn into romance, I want them to read the room and confess. I hate things getting complicated.
(Female university student, 21)

・Chemistry is the most important thing. I want to hang out with my friends, so if she's shy, it won't work.
(Male college student, 22)

According to them.
Despite being questions about views on romance, many comments seemed focused on "friends." The "Heisei Student Survey" (conducted in 2012) found that 83.1% of respondents felt "dating someone of the opposite sex has meaning," indicating a sense that having a partner makes one more "socially fulfilled." However, 48.3%—roughly half—also answered that "romance is a hassle." The " Understanding Young People Survey " (conducted in 2015) found that respondents belonged to an average of 7.1 groups or connections. This suggests that as the number of "connections" people want to cherish has increased, it's become harder to dedicate time to any one specific person.

 

Is dating just another form of self-expression?

So, what about the relationship between romance and social media?
When asked, "Do you post about your romantic life on SNS?",

・I post photos of gifts I've received to subtly show my boyfriend how happy they make me. But I make sure to post in a way that everyone thinks "That's so nice!" (so he doesn't think I'm annoying).
(Female university student, 22)

・I post homemade sweets I make for my boyfriend. Honestly, more than worrying about taste, I've started prioritizing "how cute it looks" just because I want to post it on SNS. Like adding cute, unnecessary sugar decorations.
(Female university student, 22)

・I think it's about proportion. Balancing romantic stuff with more lighthearted content is key.
(Male college student, 20)

Comments like these were seen.
While romantic relationships weren't openly discussed in the past, they've now become a tool for self-expression.
We also asked Junpei Komashita, founder of the popular service "Love Graph " —which accompanies couples on dates with a photographer to capture their unique memories under the concept "Shaping the world's love" —about modern youth's views on romance.

"I think men a generation ago focused on things like buying nice cars to prove their appeal. But with the spread of social media, they're now seen by many people around them. So for men, having others recognize that they 'cherish their partner' boosts their likability and creates an environment where they get support. That's precisely why I believe they want good photos like those from LoveGraph, which are designed to resonate on social media."

In the "Understanding Young People" survey, 72.2% of respondents said they "care about how others perceive them," and 53.4% agreed that "memories gain value when shared." This suggests a desire to skillfully position oneself within relationships, giving rise to phenomena like "romantic content creation."

 

The keyword is "everyone"

Finally, when asked, "Do you think Valentine's Day is exciting?",

・Valentine's Day has a stronger romantic vibe than Christmas. It feels like an event for people who are already dating, right? In high school, the whole class got excited about it. But college students are on winter break.
(Female college student, 21)

・Christmas has red and green, Halloween has orange and black—there are themes everyone can coordinate around to get excited. But Valentine's Day? What is it? I kinda wonder.
(Female university student, 22)

・This Valentine's Day, five of us girls are getting together. It's just by chance, but we are making plans with Valentine's Day in mind.
(Female college student, 22)

This suggests they're seeking themes that everyone—friends from college or clubs—can enjoy together, like Halloween or Christmas, rather than an atmosphere overly focused on romantic relationships.

They do want a boyfriend or girlfriend, but they're quite busy with friends and communities, and having fun "with everyone" feels more important. They want to share memories made with their boyfriend or girlfriend with "everyone" since it's a special occasion. But they'll be careful not to come off as cheesy.

This sentiment seems to run deep among today's youth. In an era where social media and smartphones keep us constantly connected, rather than focusing on "popularity" confined to private relationships, skillfully incorporating elements of "appeal" that resonate within broader social contexts might be the current youth's approach to romance and self-expression.

So, what kind of day will this year's Valentine's Day be?

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【Wakamon Profile】
Dentsu Inc. Youth Research Department (nicknamed Wakamon) is a planning team that engages with the real lives and mindsets of young people, primarily high school and university students. We seek insights from their "now" to find hints for brightening and revitalizing the near future. By anticipating the future through their perspectives, we realize new businesses that foster better relationships between young people and society. Currently, 18 project members are based across our Tokyo headquarters, Kansai branch, and Chubu branch. We also share updates on the Wakamon Facebook page.