Mom and Dad's Innovation! The "Even Couple" White Paper [2]The Even Couple ~ A Rational Marital Form for Self-Realization
In our previous article, we discussed the emergence of a new marital model called "even couples," where both partners equally handle household tasks like housework and childcare.
This time, we'll examine the actual values, information-sharing methods, consumption habits, and how they spend their days off among these "even couples."
The Reality and Values of Even Couples: Aiming for an Equal, Flexible, and Mutual Respect Relationship
Even Couples tend to have both parents under 35 years old on average, with many belonging to the generation that had home economics as a required subject and grew up with digital technology as standard equipment. While Even Couples typically share household chores and childcare at a 50:50 or 60:40 ratio, what motivates them to divide these responsibilities?
We delve into the real lives of Even Couples based on survey results.
First, their attitudes and realities regarding housework and childcare.
Among Even Couple moms, a significantly higher percentage compared to all moms agreed with statements like: "I think fathers who handle childcare and housework equally well as mothers are cool" (64.6% vs. 39.1% for all moms). We also see evidence of dads actively involved in cooking, such as "35.4% agree that 'my husband has signature dishes he excels at making' (vs. 17.4% of all moms)" and "31.3% agree that 'my husband often plans meals and cooks' (vs. 7.2% of all moms)."
Furthermore, dads in even couples scored higher on "believing that even household chores or childcare tasks they are not good at or have never done can be learned through the internet, regardless of gender" (26.5%, compared to 15.3% among all dads).
This mindset—believing tasks can be learned through online research—is a distinctive characteristic of even couples, reflecting both their flat relationship dynamics and high digital literacy.
Next, the ideal couple image for even couples.
Items like "supporting each other equally," "mutual respect," "flexible division of roles," and "compensating for each other's shortcomings" scored higher among moms in even couples compared to moms overall. This reveals a value system where an equal, flexible, and mutually respectful relationship is ideal.
The True Feelings of Even Couples: A Rational Marital Structure for Self-Realization
As shown in the graph below, Even Couple Moms scored higher on "Cooperating so both partners can pursue their own interests 50%" (16.9% for all moms).
Their true feelings seem to lie in the desire to "pursue what they want to do."
Here are excerpts from interviews with Even Couples.
Rather than a complementary relationship, we're a partnership where we generously do whatever we can for our family.
Occasionally, communication mix-ups happen, like both Mom and Dad showing up to pick up the kids. They're exploring the best balance for their marriage through trial and error.
We both have jobs = things we want to do. That needs to be respected.
We both feel like we're doing our own thing. That's exactly why it's important to find common ground on the things we do together. Whoever can handle it should handle it.
We see a tendency where both spouses have things they want to do and are seeking the best balance for the couple to achieve them together. Since a relationship where only one person endures sacrifices for their own desires ultimately doesn't work, it feels like an "even" couple possesses this "rational" sense of managing household chores, childcare, work, and personal pursuits in a way that satisfies both.
Essential Condition for Even Couples ~ "No Information Gap" ~
A defining characteristic of Even Couples is the broad scope of information shared between partners, along with the diverse tools they use for sharing.
If information becomes concentrated with only one spouse, the other may find themselves unable to act because they lack the necessary knowledge. Knowing this, Even Couples strive to eliminate information gaps by mastering various tools.
For example, they upload and share documents from daycare or elementary school in LINE's "Albums," list items needed for children's outings in iPhone Reminders to prepare accordingly, share schedules for themselves, their spouse, and children via apps, and manage pickup responsibilities using Excel. Each household works hard to share information.
Regarding information sharing between spouses, this can be attributed not only to the evolution of smartphones, apps, and cloud systems, along with improved digital literacy among couples, but also to the fact that sharing has become the norm in this era.
Particularly among Even Couples, many tend to believe that sharing information and being open is more convenient and beneficial. They can be described as truly multitasking couples, handling numerous tasks while sharing everything—without boundaries between husband and wife, work and private life.
Even Couples' Shopping Habits: Dad's Presence Extends Beyond Cars and Finance to Groceries and Daily Necessities
Let's examine the shopping habits of Even Couples.
The score is the combined value of "Primarily decided/purchased after consultation between husband and wife" and "Primarily decided/purchased by whichever spouse is available at the time."
Even couples show higher proportions of "deciding/purchasing after discussing as a couple" and "deciding/purchasing by whichever spouse is available at the time" both during consideration and at purchase.
Rather than rigidly defining "mom's role" or "dad's role," the characteristic of Even Couples is that "whoever can do it does it."
Another key point is that they decide together—whichever spouse is available at the time—not only for financial matters like cars and insurance, but also for food and daily necessities.
When shopping, they share information, so both partners know what's needed. Then, whoever has free time after work or elsewhere buys it.
Some couples also share their Amazon account for online shopping, discussing items added to the cart together.
From Mom Friends to Family Friends ~ Enjoying Activities Together as Families ~
How do Even Couples spend their holidays? They scored high on "Don't think family time is a service to the family" (47.9%, vs. 36.9% of all moms) and "Consider activities the whole family can enjoy equally" (45.8%, vs. 37.2% of all moms).
On weekdays, both dads and moms work and are equally tired. Children are also tired from daycare or school. Precisely because holidays are precious time when everyone can be together, it's important that the whole family, including yourself, has fun—not that you sacrifice yourself for your children or spouse, accumulating mental and physical stress.
For example, shopping malls or camping. Places and activities offering diverse ways to enjoy themselves are chosen.
Another characteristic is that activities often involve the whole family unit—"Mom + Dad + Kids"—rather than just the "Mom + Kids" unit.
LINE groups also include both the mom and dad from close-knit families, facilitating communication and coordination within them. The underlying reason seems to be that having the dad included keeps everyone on the same information level, which ultimately makes things faster and easier than if only the moms communicated.
This also ties into the earlier point about the lack of information gaps between spouses. It appears to be a kind of "rational" behavior for busy, equally busy couples.
Through trial and error, we're still searching for the best balance as a couple!
This time, we introduced the realities of "even couples"—their values, information sharing, spending habits, and how they spend their days off.
They skillfully incorporate technology to streamline wherever possible, strive to maintain equal access to information, and tend to have whichever partner is available handle daily shopping. Underlying this seems to be a desire to minimize unnecessary sacrifices or compromises while still pursuing their own interests.
However, they too are still navigating through trial and error, searching for the best balance for their specific couple.
With each couple and household having unique circumstances, and no clear-cut "right answer" for dividing household chores and childcare, the defining characteristic of an Even Couple might be their ability to respect each other and flexibly create rules together.
Next time, we'll share communication tips for achieving an "even couple" dynamic.
[Survey Overview]
● 4th MAMALABO Comprehensive Survey (1st: 2008, 2nd: 2011, 3rd: 2015)
●Survey Period: November 9-14, 2017
●Method: Web survey *Web survey targeting respondents from the d-public Monitor Tunes screening survey
●Region: 【Tokyo Metropolitan Area】Tokyo, Chiba, Saitama, Kanagawa
【Hanshin Area】Osaka Prefecture, Kyoto Prefecture, Nara Prefecture, Hyogo Prefecture
●Target: Married men and women aged 20-49 with children
Respondents themselves + spouse + individuals living with children
Eldest child in elementary school or younger (age 12 or younger)
Employed (full-time/part-time/self-employed, etc.)
Spouse also employed (dual-income household)
Mama Lab is a work tank that sincerely engages with the true feelings of moms and children, proposing solutions to challenges. We predict the future direction of moms, dads, children, and families, solving problems with real insights and realizing new business.
Guided by the concept "When moms smile, Japan smiles. When moms smile, the world smiles," we increase organic connections between moms, families, and society. Established in 2009. Expanded into the Asia-Pacific region in 2017.
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Author
Mana Sawada
Dentsu Inc.
Since joining the company in 2002, I have been involved in communication and brand strategy planning for automobiles, cosmetics, toiletries, beverages, and other products. Currently, I belong to the First Integrated Solutions Division and handle many products targeting homemakers and mothers. I joined the Mom Lab after returning from maternity leave. I am the mother of one son and one daughter.
