Why interpreting "dislike" can actually make you feel better.

Hello, I'm copywriter Hirotaro Abe.

What does " liking " mean to you?

In recent years, I feel like the word "liking" has become a keyword. Many of you have probably seen messages like "Live by doing what you love" or "Turn your passion into your job."

When I think about what "liking" actually means here, I don't believe it's about doing whatever you want, freely and without restraint. I think looking at what you "like" means being honest with your own feelings.

In today's world, where we're constantly bombarded by news and social media, sometimes feeling swept up by it all, it can be hard to face our own feelings honestly.

What truly captivates you? Pause, receive your own heart, and interpret it. By doing so, even a faint glimpse of that "passion" – the one that makes you want to take steps toward it – should become visible.

I believe contemplating what you love is like finding your own compass.

Let's use what we like and dislike to bring out who we truly are.

To look closely at the soft sensibilities within each person's heart. There's a workshop I do to become aware of my own "likes" and their polar opposites, "dislikes."

Name someone you like and someone you dislike.

While "liking" and "disliking" often involve hard-to-articulate feelings, isn't it easier to imagine "people you like" and "people you dislike"? The goal is to take a moment to look at your own feelings.

The feeling of "liking" someone pulls you in like a magnet, even when you try to resist. On the other hand, the feeling of "disliking" someone makes you want to push them away even a millimeter, making you want to scream from the bottom of your heart that you don't want to be like that.

By examining these two extreme emotions, like the north and south poles of a magnet, you gain a sense of clarity about yourself. Throughout your life, you've met countless people. Some you've thought, "I really like them," while others made you think, "I'll never see them again—I hate them!"

This workshop is absolutely not asking you to write down the actual names of people you like or dislike.

Instead, it invites you to look inward, recalling "people you like" and "people you dislike." Then, you'll try to name the image of that person that comes to mind.

What kind of people are they?
What common traits do the "liked" and "disliked" people share?
What names would you give them?

We'll proceed by looking at examples of names actually given during the Copywriter Training Course workshop.

By becoming aware of what you like, you can gradually draw closer to it.
 

Quoted from 'That Might Be an Arbitrary Assumption? Practicing "Interpretation" Unbound by Someone Else's Correct Answer' P.68

Here's how I'd describe the person named "the one I like," step by step:

"The Creative Person"
→ Someone who never stops creating, no matter what

"Movie-Version Giant"
→ Someone who might seem a bit... well, you know, normally, but becomes incredibly dependable when it really counts

"Like a blanket from home"
→ Someone who makes you feel incredibly secure, like being wrapped in a blanket

"Sunny All Day"
→ Someone who's always bright and cheerful, no matter when you meet them

"The person disliked by people you dislike"
→People who don't get along with someone you dislike probably share that dislike and get along well

What did you think when you saw each name?

When tackling this topic, the starting point is to write down your feelings as a description. The act of "naming" allows you to step back and observe your emotions from a slightly detached perspective.

Like deliberately calling "noisy" "creative," is there an expression you can borrow?
Is there a similar situation in a famous story, like "the movie version of Giant"?
Can you compare it to something, like "just like my childhood blanket"?

By peering into your feelings of liking, or stepping back from them, you gradually uncover the true nature of what you like.

Once the image of someone you like or are drawn to emerges, you can remind yourself, "This is how I want to be," and it also means you can see the direction you're heading. By becoming aware of "liking," you can steadily draw closer to it.

Don't ignore dislike. Instead, face it and find relief.

Quoted from 'That Might Just Be Your Own Assumption: Practicing "Interpretation" Unbound by Someone Else's Right Answer' P.69

Let's also explain what kind of person this "disliked person" is.

"Lady We"
→ Someone who's very self-centered, constantly saying "I! I!" and is overly assertive.

　 "Flat-Out Bird-Taro"
→ Someone who never sees the good and only tries to find fault

　 "Excuse Minister"
→ Someone who not only makes excuses but also acts all high and mighty

　 "The Under-the-Radar Flatterer"
→ Someone who, rather than supporting from behind the scenes, just fawns and flatters

　 "Two-faced demon"
→ Someone who conveniently deceives people left and right

I want to be careful how I handle the emotion of "dislike." Doing this workshop made me realize something.

Many people expressed "dislike" directly, using phrases like "nitpickers," "arrogant people," or "people who only brag." I think people tend to be more talkative and lose restraint when expressing dislike rather than liking. Haven't we all experienced getting excited over gossip at least once?

That's precisely why I want to consciously wrap things in a sugar-coated way.
I believe this means wrapping things in humor.

First, identify what defines someone you dislike. Then, link them to universally recognized names like "Lady Gaga," "Minister," or "Yokai," or personify them like "Tricky Bird-tarō." When the words leave your mouth, wrap them softly.

This makes it easier for both yourself and the other person to receive it with an "Ah, I see!" After all, if left unchecked, the dark emotion of "I dislike you" spreads like an infection. Holding onto it lets it control you.

It creates thorns that roll around inside your heart, pricking you, and you find yourself thinking about it even when you don't want to. It's precisely at times like this that you should look directly at that "dislike."

The saying "Seeing others' faults helps you see your own" makes perfect sense. While I'm half-skeptical about the idea that "the person you dislike is a reflection of yourself," there's no doubt that something within you reacts when you feel aversion toward someone.

Even if there are similarities, or even if you absolutely want to distance yourself, thinking about it means confronting your raw emotions. It might be painful. But once you see its true form, define its outline, and put it into words, you'll feel relieved.

"That Might Just Be Your Own Assumption: Practicing 'Interpretation' Unbound by Someone Else's Answers"
Discover Twenty-One, 288 pages, ¥1,650 (tax included), ISBN 978-4799327371

 
"Mr. Abe, I'm having trouble finding things I 'like'..."

I've had people consult me like that before. In those cases, I recommend starting by thinking about what you dislike. What do you dislike? What situations do you want to avoid? Once you identify what you dislike, wrapping it in humor creates a sense of relief, like putting a lid on a jar and sticking a "sealed" label on it. If you walk around avoiding that, you'll naturally find your way to something pleasant you like.

Observing and interpreting your own heart. My book , 'Hey, That Might Just Be Your Own Assumption! ', was written as a guide to self-interpretation, so please take a look. I truly believe you'll find hints to lighten your heart.