If I fail, it's over... Young people desperately protecting their "shaky self-esteem"

Dentsu Inc. Youth Research Department (hereafter Dentsu Inc. Wakamon) conducted its first large-scale survey in two years, focusing primarily on high school students, university students, and young adults in their first to third years of employment (survey overview) here ). Based on these results, we created "Youth Knowledge 2025," which unravels the values of young people. (For inquiries, here )

This series introduces findings from the survey. This installment focuses on young people's "self-esteem." How do they engage with self-esteem, and how does this manifest in their interactions with others? What do they seek from adults and society? As we interpret the survey results, we begin to see the inner thoughts behind young people's words and actions.

Daily Shifts in Self-Esteem

In recent years, we've seen a significant increase in the term "self-esteem," referring to the sense of being able to accept oneself as one is. While it's often said that "young people have low self-esteem," Dentsu Inc. views them not as a "generation with low self-esteem," but rather as a "generation whose self-esteem is easily shaken."

This generation grew up with an education emphasizing "respecting each individual's uniqueness." While this approach holds great significance in embracing diversity, it also fostered the mindset that "individuality only holds value when recognized by others." Consequently, they tend to rely more on external validation than on confidence arising from within. In other words, while they do possess self-esteem, it remains unestablished, making them hypersensitive to external stimuli.

Furthermore, they grew up with social media ever-present from a young age, constantly forced to compare themselves to others. Value becomes visible through the number of "likes," and comment sections fill with specific evaluations. Polished visuals and aspirational lifestyles constantly catch their eye. In this survey, 60% of young people reported that "looking at social media often makes me lose confidence in myself." It becomes clear that with each unconscious scroll, their self-esteem is gradually eroded.

On the other hand, opportunities to regain lost confidence seem present in daily life. When university students were asked, "When does your self-esteem increase?", responses included "When my makeup looks good" and "When my test scores improve." However, the answer many students mentioned was "When I'm praised."

For young people, self-esteem isn't something they "completely lack"; rather, it's something they "strongly desire." However, maintaining it stably is difficult. They might be brimming with confidence in one situation, only to suddenly feel anxious in another. In other words, for young people, self-esteem isn't a "fixed self-evaluation" but rather a "daily condition."

"Expectation Management" to Reduce Mental Load

Young people, whose self-esteem is prone to fluctuation, expend significant energy maintaining mental balance in daily life. This characteristic is also reflected in their communication patterns. One such pattern is "expectation management." They may deliberately downplay their abilities or lower the bar before taking action. This isn't merely modesty or humor; it functions as "insurance against significant hurt if they fail."

In this survey, when asked "How do you perceive your own character?", one in four respondents answered "I see myself as an introvert." For them, with their strong aversion to failure and mistakes, expectations from others become immense pressure. That's precisely why lowering expectations in advance minimizes the damage if they fail, and if things go well, it makes it easier to receive positive feedback like "You're better than I thought!"

For example, when trying something new, they might preface it with "Please laugh if I can't do it," or at work, add "This might not be very helpful..." Dentsu Inc. believes these statements convey more than just their capabilities; they also carry the message, "Please don't blame me if I fail." Conversely, this suggests they fear their self-esteem being significantly shaken by others' evaluations.

This attitude is visible even in small daily moments. Recently, the term "bath canceling" (from the "bath canceling community") spread widely on social media, resonating with many. When skipping a bath to sleep due to fatigue or laziness, people preemptively say, "I ended up bath canceling." This allows them to protect themselves before being labeled "sloppy." This is another example of "expectation management" used to defend self-esteem.

Through such actions and words, they reduce mental strain and build relationships while protecting their self-esteem.

Young people with "only one life left"

As we've seen, young people strive to protect their self-esteem by minimizing damage from others' evaluations and reducing mental strain. While it's often said that "young people are reluctant to take risks," this stems from a deep fear of losing their self-esteem.

In this survey, approximately 70% of young people responded that they sometimes avoid challenges because they fear being held responsible for failure.

Two major factors underlie this caution. First is the social environment where employment and security are unstable, forcing individuals to protect themselves. Survey results also show that in an information-rich society, mistakes in choice are strongly perceived as self-responsibility due to insufficient research, raising the psychological barrier to taking risks.

The other factor is the daily exposure to others' failures through social media, videos, and reality shows. This tendency is particularly pronounced regarding romance and marriage. A significant 81% of young people perceive marriage as having a high barrier. Furthermore, a substantial 79% of young people feel that even "starting" a relationship—something that can be restarted multiple times—requires considerable resolve.

Thus, young people aren't merely afraid of challenges; they exist in a psychological state where "even one failure is irreversible" – essentially a "one life left" condition. In this precarious state, actions to protect self-esteem take priority. Avoiding failure becomes the top priority over taking risks, leading to extreme caution even in small daily choices. For young people , challenge isn't just a matter of motivation; it's also a matter of psychological risk management.

What gives them confidence is the "assurance that help is available."

How should adults and society engage with young people who carry this strong belief that "one failure means the end" and whose self-esteem is easily shaken?

According to Dentsu Inc. Wakamon's survey, nearly 70% of students responded that they feel "if I fail, my senior coworkers or employees will be disappointed in me/might abandon me." What's noteworthy here is that young people fear not just being scolded, but more intensely, "that failing to meet expectations will shake their self-esteem." As seen so far, being disappointed in is perceived not just as a loss of evaluation, but as damage to their very sense of self-worth.

This survey reveals that what these young people need is a sense of security. Among the top responses for "What they seek from workplace superiors or seniors" were: "Protecting juniors," "Listening properly to their concerns," and "Providing clear guidance on what went wrong." This shows that young people value daily support more than professional excellence.

For example, a certain audition program received widespread praise for how its producers interacted with young participants. His approach—affirming participants' past experiences while focusing on their "present" situation, and extending a helping hand to eliminated contestants rather than immediately dismissing them, aiming to connect with their future—demonstrated words and actions that protected both "self-esteem" and "a sense of security," earning support from young people. Similarly, in corporate advertising, messages that praise past efforts rather than simply urging "do your best" are resonating.

In this way, acknowledging not just the present but also the past fosters a sense that "someone is truly seeing me." Adopting this approach can help young people feel reassured, thinking, "I'm not alone" and "I feel protected if something happens."

Young people live each day in defense mode, desperately protecting their self-esteem. However, the presence of those around them who provide a sense of security can ease that tension and create room for challenge. The key to supporting their growth lies not only in offering approval and praise but also in creating an environment where they feel accepted even when they fail.

[Survey Overview 1]
Survey Name: Understanding Young People Survey
Research Organization: Dentsu Macromill Insight, Inc.
Survey Period: December 2024
Survey Method: Internet survey
Survey Area: Nationwide
Survey Population & Sample: Unmarried males and females aged 15-46 (high school students and above), 2000 respondents (equally divided by gender within each segment below)
(Breakdown) High school students: 400 respondents / College students: 400 respondents / Working adults (1-3 years of experience): 400 respondents / Working adults (4-10 years of experience): 500 respondents / Working adults (11-20 years of experience): 300 respondents
 
*To extract the above sample, a screening survey was conducted targeting general men and women aged 15–69 (high school students and above, regardless of marital status or occupation). Based on the results, 10,000 respondents were extracted according to population composition ratios and used separately for analysis.

[Survey Overview 2]
Survey Name: Circle Up Survey
Research Organization: Dentsu Inc. Youth Research Department "Wakamon"
Survey Period: September 2025
Survey Method: Internet survey
Survey Area: Nationwide
Survey Participants/Sample: 200 university students