Let's create more places to belong. For independence.

"I believe it's crucial not to lose sight of what you're doing. You know those people who seem like a mystery, right? I don't want to become someone where people think, 'Come to think of it, what does that person actually do?' To avoid that, I think having expertise is vital. I consciously strive to be someone who can introduce themselves clearly, no matter the situation."

"This is what I do." Being able to convey that in one sentence makes socializing much easier. Our conversation with sociologist Noritoshi Furuichi began with the importance of being able to introduce yourself.

(From right) Sociologist Noritoshi Furuichi, Author Hirotaro Abe

Mr. Furuichi is a doctoral candidate in the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences at the University of Tokyo, specializing in sociology. He has published numerous books, including "Dear Hope Refugees" (Kobunsha), "Happy Youth in a Country of Despair" (Kodansha), and "Making Preschool Education Compulsory" (Shogakukan). Here are the three principles for moving forward with integrity, as revealed in our conversation with Mr. Furuichi.

*Based on Chapter 5, "Increasing Your Places to Belong × Sociologist Noritoshi Furuichi," from the book Wait, and Nothing Will Begin: Move Forward with Resolve.

Try believing in the image of yourself that exists within others.

"My life has been largely drifting along. I do try to avoid doing things I dislike, but when it comes to making decisions, I tend to follow others' opinions—I haven't really chosen much for myself."

"Making an effort to avoid things I dislike." When I heard this phrase, didn't some of you think, "Shouldn't it be 'making an effort to do things I like'?" Actually, I thought the same. I believe I got to where I am today by consistently making the effort to carve out time to find and immerse myself in what I love. However, hearing Mr. Furuichi's story made me realize, "Ah, that's what it means!"

The first thing that came to mind was the discussion about "Where do I exist?" There's the idea that I exist within myself, but there's also the idea that I exist within others.

I'm sure many of you have heard people say things like, "I think you're suited for this," or "Doing this will lead to the next step." Trying to go with the flow that person suggests. Trying to believe in that image of yourself that exists within someone else. By doing so, you can indeed sometimes unleash unexpected power beyond your imagination.

But the crucial thing is to "make an effort not to do things you dislike." Even while going with the flow, when you feel it doesn't align with your true feelings, make every effort not to be swept along in that direction. Repeating this allows you to make course corrections, ultimately flowing toward where you truly want to go.

In this context, "going with the flow of others" might be rephrased as "being needed by others." While trusting that you are needed, if you feel yourself drifting toward something unpleasant, you seek out the best possible flow instead. The phrase "strive to avoid doing things you dislike" really resonated with me.

 

Increase your places to belong in order to become independent.

When I see the word "independence," I picture someone standing firmly on their own two feet, rooted in a place, standing tall and steady.

However, Mr. Furuichi shared with me psychiatrist Shinichiro Kumagai's perspective: "In this day and age, independence doesn't necessarily mean that. It means diversifying your dependencies." Living completely alone in this society is difficult... or rather, I think it's impossible. That's precisely why he has consciously worked to increase his places of belonging—to avoid relying solely on one set of values, or on any specific person or community.

Where do you think of when you hear "place to belong"? For some, it's work; for others, home; or their hometown. For me, my workplace is my place to belong on weekdays, while on weekends, I consider the lecture I started at BUKATSUDO, a shared space in Yokohama Minato Mirai, titled "Making a Living Through Planning," as my place to belong. I wasn't consciously trying to increase my places to belong, but through consistent action, I ended up diversifying them.

That said, even if someone recommends expanding your sense of belonging, you might wonder how to actually do it. Mr. Furuichi offered this advice:

"Find places where you feel comfortable just as you are now, and surround yourself with people who accept you that way."

Just be yourself. As you meet many people, when you think, "Oh, I click with this person," take a lighthearted step forward with curiosity. Thinking about it this way, I realized that expanding your social circles simply means being open to encounters and staying positive.

 

Seeking words that transcend generations.

Mr. Furuichi authored the book "Making Preschool Education Compulsory." Beneath his earnest desire to offer abundant insights for solving declining birthrates and childcare waiting lists lies a deeper aspiration: to find words that resonate with the grandparent generation.

What does this mean? For the older generation, issues like declining birthrates and waiting lists for childcare feel like distant concerns. Yet, precisely because this generation holds significant social influence, finding words that resonate with them could be the key to solving these problems.

What struck me there was the importance of bridging generations. Resonating with a specific demographic is vital. But if there's a message that transcends generations, it has the potential to gradually build into a powerful wave. Let me share the story of "Ebisu Jimoto Shokudo," where I was responsible for the naming.

Children's cafeterias address the rise in "lonely eating" – children eating alone due to single-parent households and the increase in dual-income families. These cafeterias provide children with nutritious meals for just a few hundred yen, creating opportunities to share the joy of eating with others.

While the movement started in Tokyo's Ota Ward and spread nationwide, there's also a downside: attending a children's cafeteria can lead others to assume "they must be poor and lonely at home..." When Mariko Sueoka and Kenji Takahashi, who wanted to open a children's cafeteria in Tokyo's Ebisu, consulted me about naming, I listened intently to their reasons and motivations.

"What we want to create is 21st-century neighborhood connections." They wanted parents and children to gather around the table together, for nearby residents to get to know each other, and to build relationships where neighbors could support one another. Hearing this, I told them that what they were trying to do was essentially an activity to build a "local community." Children, fathers, mothers, grandfathers, grandmothers. As the number of familiar faces who know you grows, that place becomes your hometown to return to. That's why we named it "Ebisu Jimoto Shokudo."

Half a year since we started. Now, we can even convey the spirit of this place to the grandparents, starting with the name itself. Creating words can simultaneously create concepts. Concepts shape people's principles of action. Searching for words that transcend generations—I believe that's a very important perspective.

What did you think? What I learned from Mr. Furuichi was this: trust the self that exists within others, and if you remain natural and unashamed in your encounters, it will eventually become your place. And the importance of words that transcend generations. If you consciously apply this to your everyday relationships, something might change.

I hope you can experience Mr. Furuichi's own thoughts directly through his book, 'Waiting Won't Start It: Move Forward with Resolve ' (Kobundo).

Next time: Three principles for moving forward decisively, revealed through a conversation with manga artist Toru Seino.