I'm sick of "イクメン" though.

Kokeko, 10 months old

Oh, thinking it looked like a delicious sakura mochi (*1), I reached out to grab it—only to find it was my daughter Kokeko's cheek. With a face that looks just like spring itself, Kokeko is about to turn 10 months old.

As I write this (*2), her nursery school entrance ceremony is next week. Yes, we somehow managed to secure a spot (I'll share the details of that process another time).
The song "Small but Fully-Fledged" by Shintaro Sakamoto fits our home perfectly right now. "The town is vast, what is this world? The scent of spring, the feel of the wind on my skin, I want to remember even the smallest things."

It's been two and a half months since returning to work after about six months of childcare leave.
I feel like my instincts and skills as a copywriter have mostly returned. It wasn't as dull as I feared, or rather, my fifteen years of experience weren't defeated by six months (of parental leave). Incidentally, as this "copywriter mindset" regained its full strength, I noticed a certain allergy intensifying.

It's toward the term "ikumen" (dad who takes care of the kids).

Some people even call me that now. It's a nasty word. How nasty? Well, if the psychological burden of dealing with Koke-ko's Brit Cannon (aka Poop; see Part 2 of this series ) is 1brt (Brit), then being called an "Ikumen" is about 235brt.
This time, I want to deliberately think about this word—emotionally and coolly.

The Crime of "Ikumen"!

Why do I dislike this word?
First and foremost, the very look and sound of "Ikumen" feels tacky (to me). Form and sound matter. Just like its apparent origin, "Ikemen," it carries this oddly flattering nuance that makes the back of my neck crawl.

Fundamentally, even when referring to men actively involved in childcare, that involvement takes many forms (as I now understand). Yet this term lumps them all together, simplistically, and isolates them from the majority. As if they were players in some niche sport or something (*4).

Furthermore, childcare—a constant act (or rather, closer to a "state," right?)—tends to be treated like some kind of fashion, or a fleeting phenomenon. Personally, I find it painful that men's childcare itself gets consumed as a trend by this word. Don't consume us!

You know how musicians often get fed up with genre labels? Like, "Don't call it 'City Pop'!" I kinda get that feeling. It's like being forced to wear clothes that don't suit your taste or body type.
But honestly, the first reason is probably the biggest factor. Before Kokeko was born, we didn't really mind being labeled "DINKs" (※6) in marketing terms (it was a straightforward fact, after all).

Anyway, many men raising kids probably feel similarly, and those directly involved often avoid using the term "Ikumen" themselves.
Ultimately, "ikumen" is a term meant to be applied from the outside; it wasn't designed for the individuals themselves to adopt. It's one-way. That aspect mirrors the specifications of "ikemen" (though Kano Hidetaka's usage is an exception).

Writing this, I expect some will point out, "But you proposed 'Ikutan' in your last column!" However, those are entirely different things. That was a nickname for a system, like a brand name. In contrast, "Ikumen" is a partition that categorizes (segments) people.

But hold on—let's cool down here for a moment. It's a word already out in the world. Just whining "I hate it, I hate it" won't help, and it's going to stay in our field of vision for a while anyway. So I figured it wouldn't be fair to the word to not engage with it at least a little.

The Meaning of "Ikumen"!

What is the original definition of the term "ikumen"? The Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare's official page states:

Ikumen refers to men who enjoy raising children and grow themselves in the process. Or, men who aspire to live such a life in the future.

It's a good concept. It might feel a bit too idealistic, but that's what ideals are for, and I have no objections.

But what about reality? What impression does the term "Ikumen" give you now?
While it's sometimes used innocently, like "Oh, he's really into childcare," it's also increasingly loaded with a sarcastic undertone. Like, "Yeah, right, 'the self-important type,'" or "Oh, he's like Naoto Inti Raymi from Kounodori (*8)." It's become easier to apply to people who are all talk.

You could say the term has become somewhat hollow, or that it's taken on a life of its own, detached from its original meaning. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. As they say, language is a living thing; the way it's used right now, in this moment, is precisely how it functions (how it's alive).

Amidst the many new words that are born only to be forgotten, as of 2018, the term "ikumen" hasn't become obsolete. Far from it, it's stubbornly persisting (though I dislike choosing that particular vocabulary). There must be a necessity for it to be that way.

There might be people who desperately need this word, or perhaps, unlike me, have been saved by it. I want to hold onto the ability to imagine that.
It gets made fun of. Teased. Spread, misinterpreted, mocked. None of these are reasons for the word to disappear; rather, they're part of its process of spreading. Regardless, the fact that the whole topic of men's childcare – something that was rarely a social concern before – has at least become a subject of attention and discussion is significant.

That doesn't erase the word's awkwardness, but beyond personal likes or dislikes, you can see the dynamism of a word adapting to its environment, surviving, and working. Writing "survive" makes me cringe a bit.

Among those opposed to "ikumen," some argue that "treating the ordinary act of childcare as something special is mistaken." Personally, as I wrote earlier, I understand that sentiment. But we should recognize that what is logically obvious isn't necessarily the reality for everyone.

Things that don't catch on don't spread easily. Trends might be a transitional stage on the way to becoming established. Once this fuss dies down, when men's childcare truly becomes the norm, the term "Ikumen" will have served its purpose and turned into cosmic dust (fist pump!). At that point, I'll probably say: Good work, buddy. I never liked you as a word, but you sure worked hard.

What do you call something like this? Right, a necessary evil.
Don't you want to believe that a society where the term "ikumen" is thrown around is at least somewhat better for childcare than a society with no such label? As the number of people who are all talk increases, the number of people who aren't just talk should also increase. And all forms of tackiness are simply steps on the path to sophistication.

At 37, still a greenhorn

A man I met at a talk event about men's childcare (a senior figure as a father) gave me this comment.
"I've never used this term to describe myself either. (...) I've decided for myself that 'others calling me an 'ikumen' is fine, go ahead.'"
That ease of "go ahead and use it"... what a mature attitude! I'm still such a greenhorn.

A senior colleague at work, who is also a mother of three, offered this advice: "Don't worry about how you're labeled." It felt like encouragement, like "Exactly!"
Come to think of it, gals who casually accept being called "gal" are kinda cool (*10). If I had the time and energy to worry about such things, I'd rather be writing copy or checking out Koke-ko.
Everyone, you're just too good. I'm still so green.

I'm sure the wise readers among you have already noticed (I just wanted to say that).
Everything I've written so far ties right back to the copywriter's job.

We occasionally create new categories, make things trendy, or let them fade away. To do that, we name things.
While aiming for noble intentions, I want to work without forgetting that it can become a necessary evil or just plain evil. Well, at the very least, calling something something that makes the people involved think it's lame is pretty sinful, right?
Using it as marketing jargon behind the scenes is one thing, but copy is something that goes out into the world and is consumed by everyone (writing "consumed" here isn't self-deprecating, but rather a point of pride).

Now, what awaited me after returning from paternity leave was a work system called the "Super Flex System" (※11). Mastering this system will be key. Koke-ko's nursery life begins amidst all this. Next time, I'd like to write about the tangible feel of this new life. Apologies for the irregular updates (※12).

※1
A type of Japanese confectionery. Broadly categorized into the Kanto-style "Chōmeiji" and the Kansai-style "Dōmyōji." The former involves wrapping sweet bean paste in dough, then wrapping that in a cherry leaf.
The latter involves wrapping a "botamochi"-like mass containing sweet bean paste in a cherry leaf. The text is written so either image can be used metaphorically.

※2
Late March 2018. The cherry blossoms had already passed their peak bloom.

※3
"Small but a Full Portion" is included on Sakamoto Shintaro's first solo album, "How to Deal with Illusions" (2011). The lyrics appear to be about "childhood memories."

※4
This has the effect of dividing childcare into "men who play" (a minority) and "men who don't play" (the majority). In this context, the latter carries the nuance of being "the norm."

※5
"City Pop" is a genre name used when discussing Japanese pop music. It was coined by the media to refer to a trend in the late 1970s, represented by artists like Eiichi Ohtaki and Yumi Arai. By the 2010s, the term itself experienced a revival. Currently active artists and bands possessing certain elements (vague nuances like urban sophistication and musical diversity) tend to be grouped under this term.

※6
"DINKs" (Double Income No Kids) is a term derived from the initials of "Double Income No Kids." Broadly, it refers to "dual-income couples without children"; narrowly, it refers to "dual-income couples who have chosen not to have children."

※7
Comedian Kano Hidetaka's breakthrough routine was "Ramen, Tsukemen, Boku Ikemen" ("Ramen, Dipping Noodles, I'm Handsome"), making "Ikemen" (Handsome Guy) a self-proclaimed title in an extremely rare case.

※8
"Kounodori" is a TV drama based on the manga of the same name. Its second series aired on TBS starting October 2017. Musician Naoto Inti Raymi guest-starred in this drama set in an obstetrics and gynecology department. He played a husband who self-proclaimed as an "Ikumen" (hands-on dad) yet drove his wife into postpartum depression, sparking significant viewer reaction. Despite the actor himself bearing no fault, online discussions treated him as a synonym for a terrible husband.

※9
Labeling. A similar term is "putting a label on," but for some reason, "label" tends to be used more negatively and as a metaphor for prejudice than "putting a label on."

※10
For example, within Dentsu Inc. itself, there is a unit called "Gal Lab." Its members (regardless of the general definition of "gal") not only don't shy away from calling themselves "gal," but seem to enjoy it. Seen from that perspective, this column must seem rather uptight.

※11
"Super Flex System" refers to a flexible work schedule without core hours. Details will be covered in the next installment.

※12
While still tentative, the author hopes to post the next column around June or July.