Six years since "Male Copywriter Takes Paternity Leave." Has men's "entry into the home" progressed?

Graphic Design: Dentsu Inc. BXCC Bureau, Yuki Miyake

Breastfeeding, Poop, and Parental Leave (September 5, 2017)

The Man Who Didn't Get It

It's... way too tough! Do mothers everywhere really get through days like this? No way. I'd break down.
That was my immediate reaction. Seriously.
No, I had heard about it beforehand. About mothers' loneliness and anxiety. How it feels like watering a plant that never sprouts, how nighttime crying seems endless, how feeding and diaper changes every three hours leave you completely sleep-deprived.
But my vague image, embarrassingly, was something like this schedule.
Just to clarify upfront, our household is doing what's called "mixed feeding" – combining breast milk with formula (hereafter referred to as "milk").

"Hey, what kind of nonsense are you spouting?" any experienced parent would think. Sorry. I think that now too. It's like some vaguely optimistic schedule chart. But here, as someone who was once one of those "clueless guys," I'll lay bare that ignorance.

(Quoted from Part 2 of the series, " Breastfeeding, Poop, and Parental Leave ")

This series, initiated by Mr. Uogeri, candidly depicts his real-life daily experiences and feelings during his six-month paternity leave, quickly becoming a hugely popular serial.

・"Male Copywriter Takes Paternity Leave." Read the series here

Since the series started in 2017, society's awareness of men taking childcare leave has changed significantly. In 2022, the revised Childcare and Family Care Leave Act was enacted, establishing "Postnatal Paternity Leave (Birth-Time Childcare Leave)," and the attitudes of various companies are also shifting.

For Web Dentsu Inc. 10th anniversary project, Mr. Uogeri contributed an article themed around "Men's Entry into the Home."

<Table of Contents>
▼Our "First Steps"

▼Parental Leave is Just a Means

▼Changing Dads, Changing Organizations

▼Goodbye, "Ikumen" Dads (Tentative)

▼These Past Six Years Will Become History

Our "First Steps"

Six years have passed since then. My daughter Kokeko, who was just two months old back then, will be starting elementary school next year. Her school bag is already reserved. Lately, her baby teeth have been falling out one after another.

Looking back, this article in Web Dentsu Inc. was where it all began. The book deal came about, and the drama project on WOWOW was born, all because so many people read this article. These past six years, I've had opportunities to speak about paternity leave in various places.

This time, I dug out the proposal I originally submitted to Web Dentsu Inc. As a tentative serial title, I had written: "Goodbye, Ikumen (tentative)". The proposal's mission statement declared, with fairly strong conviction, something like: "We will promote men taking childcare leave as the standard and make the term 'Ikumen' obsolete." Reading it now, it's a bit embarrassing. But really, how much has the landscape of men's involvement in childcare actually changed over these six years?

"Male Copywriter Takes Paternity Leave."
Left: Book cover image Right: WOWOW original drama poster visual

Here are the book cover for "Male Copywriter Takes Paternity Leave" and the poster visual for the drama adaptation. Take a look at the respective taglines (provided by the publisher and broadcaster). The "5%" on the book's obi band represents the male paternity leave uptake rate in 2017, when I took leave. The "7%" on the poster is the 2019 figure. But while promoting the drama, the 2020 numbers were released—and I was shocked to see it had jumped to about "12%"! Whoa, it just shot up! I thought, "Now the tagline looks outdated." By fiscal year 2022, following revisions to the Childcare and Family Care Leave Law, the male uptake rate reached "17.13%."

Compared to the female uptake rate, it's still far behind. Still, I want to think it represents a leap forward, like a baby who was crawling along the floor (just like this graph) finally starting to pull themselves up to stand. In fact, I've started seeing men taking childcare leave among the parents at my daughter's nursery school, and even among the nursery staff.

*Decimal places are rounded down to the second digit

Yet, viewed through the lens of the gender gap, the reality is starkly severe. As of 2023, Japan's "Gender Gap Index" ranks 125th out of 146 countries worldwide. In this regard, Japan is still a baby unable to even roll over, let alone crawl. Unlike a baby, this is "not cute at all."

Social barriers exist right before women's eyes and above their heads. In this context, the most effective way to support women's "advancement in society" is still likely men's "advancement into the home." The situation where only women are forced (by society, and by men) to choose between "home or work" can be changed when both men and women shoulder the responsibilities of both home and work. Watching my wife work, I feel this more and more.

Parental leave is just a means to an end

Six years ago, the media started advocating "Take parental leave!" But now, it feels like we've shifted to a phase where we're calling on organizations to "Make sure employees take parental leave." More companies are setting a goal of 100% uptake by men, and it's probably true that unless you aim that high, nothing will change.

But I feel like making 100% uptake the goal itself is missing the point. I do encourage men to take paternity leave, but I frame it as "something worth considering, a strong option." It's a means to achieve happiness for oneself and one's family. Precisely because it's just a means, I believe it should be easily accessible to anyone who wants it. Not something everyone is forced to take.

Personally, I also think more companies should publish not just the uptake rate, but the "average number of days taken" by employees! Taking just 3 days versus taking a whole month means a very different level of utilization of parental leave.

You could say the utilization rate belongs to the organization (the side granting it), while the number of days taken belongs to the employee (the side taking it).

For example, which company utilizes parental leave more effectively: one with a 100% utilization rate and an average of 3 days, or one with a 60% utilization rate and an average of 50 days? It's difficult to say, but isn't that a more meaningful comparison? I think this would also be useful data for people job hunting or considering changing jobs.

※The 2022 male childcare leave uptake rate was calculated applying the revised Childcare and Family Care Leave Act (including childcare-purpose leave).

Changing Dads, Changing Organizations

For about the past year, I've been giving presentations primarily to corporate HR departments alongside colleagues from 'Dentsu Inc. Papa Lab.' Our activity seeks hints on how organizations should think and what they should do to promote male paternity leave uptake. We call this 'Paternity Transformation' (abbreviated as 'PX'). For details, please refer elsewhere, but the key point simply is this:
The widespread adoption of paternity leave by men does not weaken an organization's capabilities. On the contrary, in the long run, it actually strengthens them. It should bring a kind of resilience, a flexibility like bamboo.

Certain counterarguments exist, of course. For instance: "You say 'in the long run,' but we don't have that kind of time," or "The idea that paternity leave improves an organization is just wishful thinking."

But working in communications, I can't help but think: Don't organizations fundamentally love "medium-to-long-term visions"? And isn't "idealism" precisely what organizational management needs right now? We live in an era where organizations proclaim their purpose. As someone who changed diapers, every time I hear "purpose," I picture Pampers—but that's beside the point. This connects to the importance of such social causes. At the very least, without "idealism," the world tends to get ugly quickly.

I've seen people running small companies point out: "In a 10-person organization, losing just one person means a 10% shortfall. Taking parental leave realistically makes it impossible to keep operations running." But here's the thing: the possibility of someone suddenly being absent due to injury or illness exists regardless of company size. Compared to that, parental leave is a "planned, time-limited absence." Papalab argues it can be a lesson for building sustainable organizations and teams.

Companies that feel they can change, or might be able to change after all, should lead the way. I sense this shift is happening, bit by bit.

Goodbye, Ikumen Dads (tentative title)

For example, when I returned from parental leave in 2018, I'd occasionally get calls from the daycare saying Kokeko had a fever and I'd leave work early. I'd miss or cancel scheduled meetings, scrambling to handle sudden situations. But looking around, I noticed it was almost exclusively women (mothers) doing this.

But lately, that's not the case anymore. "The daycare called, so I'll have to pass on today's meeting" and "Oh, take care of that" – these kinds of exchanges are becoming quite common, even between men. It's not just within the company; male clients I work with sometimes ask to reschedule meetings for the same reason. When that happens, I sometimes think, "Ah, they trust me." It's mutual. I think the rise of remote work has played a big part in this shift.

For the past six years, I've maintained a work style where I basically only work within the standard hours of 9:30 AM to 5:30 PM (with occasional exceptions) to handle daycare drop-offs and pick-ups. Just recently, I even received a job offer accompanied by a delightful confession: "I've actually wanted to work with Mr. Uozora, who operates that way, for a while now." People have also mentioned how interesting it would be to assemble a team composed entirely of members working that way.
This kind of thing was simply unthinkable six years ago.

After my child was born, I struggled to find anyone who could serve as a role model for me. But I've come to realize that doesn't really matter anymore. Instead, I should be happy that there are people who resonate with my way of working and what I share.

Come to think of it, if you look around, doesn't the term "ikumen" (dad who actively participates in childcare) feel like it's almost becoming obsolete? Or is it not like that?

These past six years will become the past too.

I sometimes wonder if these changes are just happening in my immediate neighborhood, or within a narrow world of about 5 kilometers around me.
But wait, what about this? I know there are communities centered around social media where fathers raising kids exchange information and help each other, and their scale keeps growing. From scattered points to solidarity. In six years, the landscape has changed that much. Watching us like this, Kokeko is growing up too.

I look now at Kokeko's fallen baby tooth. Back in those days six years ago, days of boobs and poop, it hadn't even sprouted yet. Then it appeared, fulfilled its role, and now it's become unnecessary—a pebble-like tooth. Soon it will be updated with a permanent tooth and become a fragment of the past. But those six years, like a waypoint, existed.
Come to think of it, I suppose that Web Dentsu Inc., now celebrating its 10th anniversary, is surely an accumulation of such fragments and milestones.