Back from Parental Leave, Part 2

Working allows you to be alone

Well, this is finally the last installment of the series. Following on from last time, I want to write about life after returning from childcare leave.

Come to think of it, one thing I keenly felt upon returning to work was how I'd almost completely lost "time to be alone" during parental leave.

Advertising work, at first glance, seems to be all about people. Time to sit alone and think deeply about ideas is limited. It's a constant cycle of meetings, presentations, shoots, more meetings, rough cuts, final edits (*1), email exchanges, meetings, people, people, people. Yet, in that very chaos, we are "alone" in the sense that we can use our minds and hands for ourselves. That's a state I didn't have during parental leave. Even now, crammed in a packed commuter train where I can barely move, I sometimes think, "My mind is mine," or "I can think whatever I want right here."

There is freedom within the act of working. Or rather, going out to work grants you freedom. This was a discovery.

And as I touched on last time, the reason reduced working hours are tough is that they shrink this freedom.

Conversely, weekends and holidays are spent entirely on childcare, making me realize with some surprise that "free days off" have nearly vanished from my life (*2). Those days of "couple's moratorium" I wrote about in the first installment now feel like a distant dream.

A Soft Landing from Parental Leave

Here's a refresher on what a typical weekday looks like these days.

While the "Super Flex System" (※3) allows flexible start and end times, in practice, my schedule has been fairly regular, with most days ending around 7 PM. You might wonder: Can advertising work really function like that?

To that, I can only say, "For the past six months, it's worked out surprisingly well." While things have gotten busier recently, the truth is, for about half a year after returning to work, I actually had quite a bit of free time.

As I've written before, copywriters juggle different teams depending on the project they're involved in (※4). However, for a while after returning to the office, I didn't get many new job offers.

It's possible that people in other departments who give me work simply didn't know I was back (my return was that quiet). I was also waiting for the right moment to take back work I'd handed off to juniors before my leave and to rejoin teams smoothly, which took some time.

Honestly, this worked out quite well for me. Things were pretty hectic until I got into a rhythm with childcare. Though if you asked me if things are settled now, I'd be hard-pressed to say.

It was a soft landing, so to speak, after parental leave. As a result, my average overtime hours over the past few months have stayed around 10 hours. You might think that's quite low, and I completely agree.

Both work and childcare became "projects"

So, within these more compacted work hours, I started saying things like: "Since I drop off at daycare first thing, please schedule meetings no earlier than 9:30 AM," or "My wife and kid have this thing with bath time, so I need to leave by 6:30 PM," or "Sorry, I got called in urgently because my kid has a fever, so I'll have to skip the meeting." (※5)

Thanks to this series, quite a few people at work know I'm raising a child. But that doesn't mean they ask, "Does that morning presentation clash with daycare?" or "Are you sure you don't need to leave early?" Well, that's just how it is. Especially for men, few people connect "he's raising a child" with "he's trying to keep his work hours compact." Here, you just have to speak up yourself. So, I do.

Nowadays, I don't think in terms of childcare versus work as a binary opposition.
It feels more like having a regular project called X called childcare, alongside work projects A, B, and C. It's not a binary choice anymore; it's becoming more like six or eight things coexisting.

For example, take my line from three blocks back. Let's try substituting the word "other business" and rephrasing it.

"Since I have to handle another matter first thing in the morning, please schedule meetings no earlier than 9:30 AM." "Because of that other matter, I'd like to wrap up by 6:30 PM." "I was urgently called away for another matter, so I'm afraid I'll have to miss the meeting." It's a perfectly natural, unobjectionable logic, right?

In advertising, you sometimes handle a client's long-term campaign spanning several years. There are regular meetings and situations demanding urgent responses. I want to think of childcare as that kind of long-term campaign. And fundamentally, there's no such thing as being replaced or the team disbanding. At least, that's what I want to believe. Well, fundamentally, anyway.

I don't think every colleague genuinely accepts this stance (※6). And honestly, there are people I can say it to openly and others I can't.

But for myself and my family, I've become at least a bit more brazen than before.

And when you reach this point, within your limited time, judgments start forming: "Couldn't someone else handle that meeting?", "Does the copywriter really need to be there?", or "Let's push that until tomorrow."

When someone says something half-zen-like like, "You don't have to be there, but it would be nice if you could," I can clearly decide, "So I don't have to be there." It's enlightenment.

Things that can happen without me? Delegate them or ask someone else. Conversely, I've become more discerning—in a way, even stricter than before—about identifying and focusing on the things that only I can do.

For example, with my wife, who's a teammate on Project X, I might say, "We have to have the meeting tonight," or "I want to push the planning further," and have her work until around 9 PM. That means it's work I want to do myself, or work I should do myself (though, of course, my wife, who works reduced hours, can't even do that).

The constraints of childcare are indeed significant.
But then it hit me: striving for the best within limited conditions, or sometimes using those constraints to make the content stronger and more concentrated—isn't that exactly like the advertising expressions we're always brainstorming?

But lately, my actual work output—the deliverables that see the light of day—has dwindled to about a third of what it used to be. I really need to find a better balance.

What frustrates me sometimes is that the dead of night, when Kokeko is sound asleep, is precisely when I can focus and write copy! The desire is there, but the physical stamina and work rules just don't keep up—it's frustrating. It would be great if this kind of thing could become possible as one of those so-called "diverse work styles."

Questioning Work-Life Balance

I've always had doubts about something I've found hard to talk about until now. People loudly proclaim the need for a good work-life balance, but I can't help wondering: how much of that can actually be achieved in my line of work? Personally.

This is work that involves ideas, expression, and thinking. It's something you can do 24/7, 365 days a year, and there's never a clear "end point."

Pouring equal energy into both childcare and work, refusing to compromise on the quality of planning or production, while also gaining that unique sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that comes with creative work (※7). Deep down, I've always felt that achieving that kind of balance is impossible. I still feel that way about half the time. But the other half? I've been wondering if there's a way to make it work.

There aren't any perfect model cases out there (or maybe I just don't know about them), and yes, I feel uneasy. Still, as a copywriter, I want to keep experimenting while speaking (and writing) words of optimism.

Finding the perfect solution or golden ratio for my own work-life balance isn't going to be easy. But the days spent searching for it, clumsy as they may be, sometimes reveal some kind of balance. Maybe that much is possible. No, I hope it is.

At the end of the series

I became a company employee, and before I knew it, 15 years had passed. I still have both moments where I think, "I'm so unsuited to being a salaryman," and moments where I feel, "Being a salaryman suits me just fine."

But at the very least, I wanted to believe that being a salaryman didn't equal being stifled. I wanted Utada Hikaru to sing, "It's okay if my darling is a salaryman" (※8). There are opportunities and possibilities you can only get because you're a salaryman. I thought childcare leave was one of them.

When I first joined the company, HR told me, "Use the company to do what you want to do." I had no idea what they meant at the time. But now, I think I understand a little.

If you reading this, or your darling, are working in an organization like me, and you feel "maybe it's not so bad after all," then I'd be happy as the author.

One final announcement: This series, "Male Copywriter Takes Parental Leave," is being turned into a book. An editor took an interest. It's scheduled for release this winter. I plan to include things I couldn't fit here as new material. I'd be thrilled if you'd pick up a copy. You might think, "Oh, it's just promotion," but please cut me some slack. After all, promotion is my real job.

This past year, no matter what I wrote or said, for Koke's life, it was just the very beginning. Like the opening credits in a movie. And now, finally, the title appears in bold: "LIFE OF KOKEKO". The first rooster crows (cock-a-doodle-doo), and a young girl's story is about to greet the dawn. But until she becomes aware of the world, my wife and I will have to wait a little longer. The story beyond that... well, I might share it somewhere, someday.

To everyone who has read this far, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude. It's because you read, thought about things, and reacted that I was able to keep writing. Thank you so much.

※1
When editing videos like TV commercials or web movies, the process of verifying cuts and composition using lightweight data—essentially a rehearsal—is called rough cut editing (offline editing). In contrast, the final cut with full picture and sound quality—the actual production—is called final cut editing (online editing).

※2
In reality, I do occasionally go out alone for half a day or a few hours on weekends or holidays. But there really hasn't been a day where I've been away from Kokeko for a full day.

※3
For an explanation of the "super-flexible work system," refer to Part 9 of this series, "Returning from Parental Leave. "

※4
In that sense, planning and production roles exist within the organization yet have aspects of a personal shop, making them somewhat unique among company employees.

※5
Incidentally, systems like "telework" (available up to 5 times per month) and "telework for childcare/caregiving reasons" (for caregivers) also exist, but the author has not yet utilized them.

※6
On the other hand, it's also true that some people show generous understanding. In other words, large companies have all kinds of people.

※7
This includes not only advertising campaigns becoming topics of discussion, but also winning advertising awards.

※8
Lyrics from Utada Hikaru's 2006 single "Keep Tryin'".

※9
Titled "Male Copywriter Takes Paternity Leave," the same as this series, scheduled for publication this winter by Daiwa Shobo.

※10
An "avant-title" refers to the prologue-like visual segment in films or dramas that precedes the title appearance.

※10
That said, "Kokeko" is a pseudonym created specifically for this series. The author named it thus because he was born in the Year of the Rooster.