The Diversity of Happiness: The Changing Shape of Families (Part 1)

Today, Japanese society is experiencing accelerated shifts in "family and household structures" due to declining birthrates and aging populations, rising rates of lifelong unmarried individuals, a surge in single-person households, increasing numbers of working women, and growing recognition of LGBT issues. Dentsu Inc. Diversity Lab (DDL) has named these diverse family structures "Life Units" and launched the Life Unit Project. This series explores these changes through interviews with experts.
For the first installment, we welcomed Keiko Kimura, Deputy Editor-in-Chief of AERA. What is Ms. Kimura's perspective, having continuously tracked changes in families and households and having planned the "New Family Structures" feature in February 2016?

(From left) Keiko Kimura, Yoko Furudaira

Kodaira: AERA has launched many unique projects related to families and households, such as childcare issues and separate surnames for married couples. Could you tell us about your own career, Ms. Kimura?

Kimura: After joining the Asahi Shimbun in 1999, I was first assigned to the Niigata bureau, then the Chiba bureau. When I returned to headquarters, I thought AERA sounded interesting and requested to join. During my time as a newspaper reporter, I covered police beats, interviewing defendants and victims, and also spoke with politicians. It was very meaningful work, but somewhere deep down, I think I wanted to understand the hearts of ordinary people living like myself, rather than focusing on such special worlds.
Since transferring to Aera in 2004, I've found covering my own generation fascinating and have been hooked for 12 years now. Currently, as deputy editor-in-chief, I oversee the whole picture while working with reporters to develop projects.

Furudaira: What kinds of articles have you worked on at Aera?

Kimura: Before I joined, AERA was a publication strong in international and current affairs, but its original creed was "News lies in people's hearts." It was a transitional period where we were increasing features focused more on the minds of the general reader. At the time, the "loser's howl" boom was happening, and I was right on the cusp of turning 30. Transfers are part and parcel of being a newspaper reporter, so while the work was enjoyable, it was the perfect time for worries like, "What about marriage? What about having children...?"
I covered and wrote about the struggles of balancing work and family life, the psychological constraints women faced despite entering the workforce, and the "lost generation" who lived through the job market ice age. The themes centered on the lifestyles and ways of living of my generation.

Kodaira: So that thread has been consistent for over ten years.

Kimura: As my own lifestyle changes—getting married, having children—my interests shift too. Actually, among Aera reporters, the "loser's howl" era had mostly singles, but now it's mostly working mothers. That's why we increasingly feature stories about the contradictions they feel in their daily lives, like the "childcare hunt" or "childless harassment."

Kodaira: I often read articles and think, "Oh yeah, exactly!"

Kimura: By picking topics from the immediate surroundings of our own lives, we might be able to create features that resonate. You could say they strike a chord, but some might say they also rub people the wrong way (laughs).

Different surnames, single people, single parents, foster parents. Diversifying households

Kodaira: The February 8, 2016 issue's "I like being single, but I want kids" also had a catchy headline that made you pause. What led to this issue featuring a special section titled "New Family Structures"?

Kimura: The image of the modern Japanese family is a theme we've covered repeatedly, in various forms. Actually, the term "marriage hunting" (konkatsu) was first used by Aera. It wasn't to encourage marriage hunting per se... In the past, when you reached marriageable age, almost everyone could get married as if on a conveyor belt. Now, if you just drift along, you can't have a traditional family. We wanted to explore "What kind of era requires marriage hunting?" and kept putting together projects on this.

Beyond marriage hunting, we've covered various topics. People's lifestyles have diversified, and desires vary greatly, yet they remain trapped by pressure to conform, outdated systems, and the fixed ideas of parents and society. Moreover, seeing classmates move forward makes them feel "left behind" – their own minds are fundamentally not liberal at all. All of this created a core dilemma: why is this happening?

Then, right around the time I was thinking about revisiting that issue—after the Supreme Court ruled that requiring married couples to share a surname was constitutional—DDL proposed the Life Unit Project. So we made it a special issue exploring the future of family structures, including the option of separate surnames.

Kodaira: How was the response?

Kimura: As always with these kinds of themes, the reactions were twofold: people saying, "I'm struggling with this too! Thank you for speaking up," and and others who felt, "This will destroy traditional family systems and order. How dare they!" It's natural to have both sides. Shortly before this issue, we ran a feature on "childless harassment." When we raised the issue of creating a society more supportive of child-rearing, we also heard from people who felt marginalized for choosing not to have children. That too sparked strong reactions from both sides.

Kodaira: Options are truly increasing, including separate surnames for married couples and whether or not to have children. Through this feature, did any particular family structure spark renewed interest for you?

Kimura: Perhaps the topic of foster parents? The person we interviewed was unmarried but wanted children, so they became a foster parent. While standards and screening vary by prefecture, the requirements are generally very strict. Often, it's expected that both spouses are present, have high incomes, and that the wife is a full-time homemaker who can dedicate herself fully to childcare. It's difficult for dual-income couples. This person lives in Chiba Prefecture, where the system is relatively lenient, and lives with her mother. She herself was raised as a foster child. Due to these circumstances, her wish was granted, and she seems very happy now.

Kodaira: The foster care system still isn't very well known. These days, households that can meet such strict conditions are rare.

Kimura: You wonder where they are. I have friends who can't have children even after marriage, or single people who want to raise a child. On the other hand, seeing daily news about child abuse makes me question whether blood ties are absolutely necessary. In the foster parent case mentioned earlier, the child understands they are fostered and has built a very good relationship with their foster parents.

Also, coincidentally, one of my close friends is an unmarried mother. People around her said all sorts of things, but even without a father, both mother and child seem incredibly happy. Personally, I often realize that if you strip away common sense and fixed notions, happiness actually comes in many different forms.

What makes me happy? Enter an era of exploration and choice

Kodaira: If you only think about it intellectually, you might struggle to accept other people's values or forms of happiness. That's why actually meeting people in various situations is so important.

Kimura: Through my interviews, I catch glimpses of truly diverse lives. Many people seem to fit into conventional forms of happiness at first glance, yet they're suffering. Like those with impressive homes, but bound by appearances, their reality is actually tense and strained. Or women struggling because they're convinced their marriage partner must be older and earn more than them.

Is that truly what they themselves desire? The foster parent featured this time might have faced prejudice from others. But by overcoming that, they reached a happiness that was uniquely theirs. There really are many forms of happiness, and people with the courage to choose them are emerging. It's strange that some pressure makes us refuse to acknowledge others' happiness. I wish society would become one where it's easier to make choices that feel right for oneself, no matter what anyone says.

Kodaira: Maybe our own vision is clouded, preventing us from choosing true happiness. Living an ordinary life brings all sorts of pressures and conflicts. Since a conveyor-belt style life isn't prepared for us anymore, we mustn't give up on thinking about what we truly need.

Kimura: Exactly. I'm from Fukui Prefecture, and my parents are very much the old-school Hokuriku type. Yet their daughter moved to Tokyo and works hard, so they often told me, "You've gone astray" (laughs). I can understand how people influenced by such generational and regional stereotypes might believe that the happiness their parents or society define is their own. You can't completely dismiss that. It's not about ignoring traditional values, but about helping them understand the values of the next generation and the changing times, fostering greater diversity.

Kodaira: It's good to have various choices, and I hope we can understand the feelings behind each one.

*Continued in Part 2