Why Are Singles Increasing!? The Changing Risks of Family Structures (Part 2)

In modern Japan, the rate of lifelong unmarried individuals continues to rise year after year. It is estimated that by 2040, over 200,000 singles will die in isolation annually. The very nature of family and household structures can no longer be defined by traditional concepts and values.
Dentsu Inc. Diversity Lab (DDL) has named these emerging diverse family forms "Life Units." Through interviews with experts, we confront the changes in family and household structures.

Continuing from Part 1, in Part 2, Yoko Furudaira interviews Professor Masahiro Yamada, known as the originator of the term "parasite singles," about the risks inherent in modern families and the societal changes emerging as singleness increases.

 

Virtualization accelerates, especially in Japan where relationships often lead directly to marriage

Kodaira: I think there's also the perspective that even if it doesn't lead to marriage, it's good if it becomes easier to find a partner. But cohabitation isn't increasing in Japan, is it? I think there are also economic benefits to sharing living expenses.

Yamada: For Japanese people, once you become lovers, marriage is the assumption. European couples, on the other hand, cohabit with a mindset like, "It's not a lifetime commitment, but living with someone you get along with is better in many ways."

Kodaira: There definitely is that sense that cohabitation equals a preparatory stage for marriage.

Yamada: In Europe, countries like France and Sweden allow unmarried cohabiting couples to receive social security benefits. They already had a foundation supportive of cohabiting couples, and since joining the EU, cohabitation has become even more common. Even in Italy, where the traditional family system is deeply rooted, cohabitation has been increasing over the past decade. More and more partners are moving in with their parents.

Kodaira: Cohabiting with parents? That's hardly conceivable in Japan. I think Japan's single population is somewhat conscious of their parents' opinions.

Yamada: Nowadays, there are more parasite singles living with their parents. Parents worry about their children's future, and above all, they care about appearances, so they meddle in their children's relationships. While Western countries also see later marriages, romantic relationships themselves are generally more active. In Asia, more young people aren't forming relationships, don't have someone they like, or even lack interest in the opposite sex.

Furudaira: The reason why the trend of Japanese becoming herbivores won't stop...

Yamada: One theory points to virtualization as a cause. There's a definite strengthening of the tendency to find one's place in a world not involving real people – chasing idols, immersing oneself in games, keeping pets.
This trend is spreading across all of Asia. When I gave a lecture in Beijing last year, a high-ranking government official said this: Even if every young Chinese woman were to marry, there would still be a surplus of about 38 million young men. Therefore, the virtual market for Asian singles is enormous.

Kodaira: The more virtualization advances, the more it seems to accelerate the trend toward remaining unmarried.

Yamada: Is virtualization the cause or the result of singledom? Hmm, it could be either, but I feel it's more the result.

Furudaira: Are there any societal changes predicted as herbivore men and singledom increase?

Yamada: If more people neither marry nor find partners, society will deteriorate.

Kodaira: In your book, "Family Refugees: The Shock of a 25% Lifetime Unmarried Rate Society," you define "family refugees" as "people who have no one who needs them or values them." Does this mean the existence of family acts as a deterrent to crime?

Yamada: That's precisely why elderly crime has increased. Without someone who cares, without maintaining the appearance of a normal life, and especially without even a virtual world, the likelihood of becoming desperate and turning to crime rises.
I believe pachinko has a tremendous crime-deterrent effect. People gamble on the possibility that "if I go, I might win" – betting on the chance that their effort might be easily rewarded. Even at home, they watch DVDs or experience a sense of accomplishment with friends in the world of online games. Because they rarely experience their efforts being rewarded in real society and cannot build anything with others, they place their hopes in the virtual world.

 

Abandoning the middle-class myth and accepting new family structures opens possibilities

Kodaira: I understand why many find solace in virtual worlds and why the trend toward herbivore men is growing. Still, virtual relationships are one-sided and don't offer practical help to singles, right? It doesn't have to be the old-fashioned way. As we move toward accepting diverse family structures, are there any countries you're watching?

Yamada: In Western societies, it seems natural to live at a standard commensurate with one's social class. There's also a widespread understanding that life's ups and downs are inevitable and nothing to be ashamed of.
In contrast, postwar Japan became a society obsessed with appearances and the middle-class ideal. People feel "embarrassed" or that "their life is over" if they can't live a life comparable to their peers. They think, "If I can't support a wife and kids at the same level as my classmates, I'm better off staying single," or "Rather than marrying a low-income man, I'd rather live with my parents and eat a ¥1,000 lunch."

Kodaira: So, what path should these young singles and parasite singles—who could be considered lifelong unmarried candidates—take?

Yamada: If we can shed this intense shame about not achieving middle-class living, society might change. Desperately clinging to middle-class status can backfire—you might lose all connections and end up isolated.

Furudaira: I think young people still have many opportunities to change their circumstances or increase their income. In that sense, might the seniors be the ones who feel most pressured to change first?

Yamada: That's right. Seniors, who tend to hold stronger fixed ideas than younger people, often become isolated when they can no longer maintain a middle-class lifestyle. Even when barely scraping by, they put on a cheerful, middle-class facade in public, making their true situation hard for others to see. Moreover, policymakers are largely unaware of the changes happening among the masses. It's sad that unless society becomes more deeply divided, neither social systems nor people's mindsets will change.

 

The first to start moving are the parasite single women in their 30s and 40s.

Kodaira: Being single often carries risks—the so-called negative aspects tend to be emphasized. But from the perspective of reframing singleness as a more positive choice, is there a demographic you're watching? Conversely, are there positive aspects to singleness!?

Yamada: The only good thing about being single is that you can predict your life. If you decide to stay single, that is.

Furudaira: So it's about not being swayed by family and protecting your own way of life?

Yamada: If you accept that there's no one to protect you, you can build your life with some foresight into the future. That's what some call the "proactive single." You might be swayed by your parents, but after they pass away, you have to take care of yourself until you die. In a way, that means your future is somewhat predictable.
If more people remain single without children, they'll likely spend all their money before passing away, so consumption might actually increase. Though given how unfriendly Japan's social welfare system is toward singles right now, I doubt it'll happen easily.

Kodaira: Among singles, which demographic are you particularly watching?

Yamada: Among single people, I believe the women who are exploring new paths are the parasite singles.

Furudaira: Among these parasite single women, which age group are you focusing on?

Yamada: When we talk about single individuals with a certain level of income and the intelligence to consider their future, it's probably the parasitic single women in their 30s and 40s. That demographic is starting to think about new ideas and ways of living.

Furudaira: My personal observation is that women in their 50s are seriously considering and starting to act on how they will live as they approach 60 or 70. Questions like whether to continue living alone in the condominium they purchased, or to live with someone else... So it's not this group, but rather the 30s to 40s age group, right?

 

Yamada: I'm almost 60, and women around me are making similar moves.
However, for women in their 30s and 40s, the pressing factor is likely the awareness of their biological clock forcing decisions. Age is a variable, and as it increases, they inevitably have to give up on certain things. Yet, they can't lower their standards for a marriage partner. So, they start choosing the path of the proactive single I mentioned earlier. Looking at women in their 50s and 60s today, the lifetime unmarried rate is about 10%, meaning married women still form the bulk. Even if they were parasite singles, many have already lost their parents and started living alone. Seeing this generation, those in their 30s might be starting to think about their own paths.

Furudaira: As our society ages and birthrates decline, I think it's crucial that younger generations, who aren't yet facing the same pressing challenges as seniors, start imagining their futures. They should freely consider questions like: Who and how should I live with to find happiness? What new products or services would make that possible? This kind of thinking could help build a better future. Thank you for today.

 

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